Foreign toilets

You try and tell the difference after 3 double gin and tonics ;)

-- Post From My iPhone

On the way home

So 2 weeks have gone in a flash, a week of Bangkok then a further week of slightly cooler Chiang Mai. Anything I say now is probably going to be through rose (or even alcohol) tinted spectacles: blagging my way into the business-class lounge with free wifi, peace and quiet, pizza, Oreos and gin and tonic that you can pour yourself. The plan is to make the most of this and then snooze the whole 13 hours on the way back :)

Thailand's been a mad mad place. The complete opposite to Singapore, where I went a few years ago: chaotic, dirty, polluted, but it's certainly got a charm to it that other countries don't. The people are probably the most friendly and hardworking that I've ever met, we've eaten in some amazing restaurants (a French restaurant that I went to yesterday was as good any I've had in England and easily a quarter of the price) and generally been made to feel completely welcome. It's also been humbling to stay in an enormous house, with enormous gardens, that in London only a multi, multi-millionaire could afford.

I was also really lucky to visit an elephant sanctuary a few days ago, feeding them bananas and sugarcane and getting close enough to them to be able to stroke them (their hair is as wiry as a wire brush)



I also managed to fit in a visit to a temple in the hills and to Carrefour (pick a fish swimming in a tank, they'll kill it, deep fry it and package it in about 10 minutes - quicker than queuing at the post office back home)

I'm always glad to be going home at the end of a holiday, that's why I live there, but Thailand's certainly a place I'd come back to, especially when the thought of landing at Heathrow in 14 hours, in the cold, on Halloween with little tw*ts throwing flour bombs/bricks/whatever they can get their hands on at the passing Piccadilly Line train come to mind.

Oh well, time for more pizza, gin and a sleep. Night all. Xx

Mosquitos and motorbikes

Two more days in Chiang Mai down, 2 more to go. During the last two days I feel like I've really seen the place, doing lots of weird and wonderful things:

Exploring Chiang Mai on foot, through into the walled city and exploring the various temples there. A full orchestra was playing in one of the temple complexes, and when the daily thunderstorm came (torrential like you wouldn't believe), they became really very good shelter from the elements.

I also managed to gulp down my first really good latte in a couple of weeks (I can almost smell Caffè Nero getting nearer - roll on Saturday morning!). Free wifi at coffee shops seems almost ubiquitous here, although I noticed at one of the Starbucks I saw you still hve to pay there. Plus ça change and all that. When ordering a tea or coffee anywhere, they'll always ask you if you want it hot or cold, cold drinks, naturally enough, are really popular here.

On leaving the centre of Chiang Mai, we took a tuk-tuk back to the house where we're staying, which is a cross between a taxi and an Alton Towers ride, one foot off the ground and handlebars like a bike rather than a steering wheel. As they're so close to the ground, it really does feel like you're going at a tremendous speed. I was genuinely worried at first, but it soon became fun, except for the fact that we were exactly level with exhaust fume height.



We also visited a brilliant restaurant, within the D2 hotel, which was right in the middle of the night market - the crème brûlées were as good as I've had: even the grim-sounding 5-spice flavoured one was delicious. Galloping to the night market afterwards, it was much calmer than the equivalent would be in other countries, for example, the el- Fnaa Square in Morocco. People also took no for an answer much more readily and a smile always went down well.
There were though, more counterfeit goods here than I've ever previously seen in my entire life, including, bizarrely enough, right next to the 'tourist police' building. Watches, bags, purses, sunglasses were the most obvious, but Wii games, software like Photoshop CS4 (has it even been released yet?), fake flip flops(!) and wooden frogs that make a frog sound by rubbing the wood (whoever though of this had a better brain than me!). The list could go on forever, but I was pleasanly surprised by the respect that the sellers had and the fact it didn't decent into a horibble tourist scrum with people being conned left right and centre.

Today was Doi Souket, a temple high high up into the sky, almost at cloud level. A good 30-minute vertical drive followed by a funicular to get to the very top was rewarded by a view of the whole of Chiang Mai. The ferrol dogs that wander around knew exactly how the funicular worked, dashing in before the door closed, waiting patiently, then dashing out again at the top: almost exactly like the pigeons that use the tube (check YouTube).

Starting to get tourist fatigue now, but still enjoying it immensely.

Other points to note:
There are thousands of mobile shops around, either on motorbikes or from the back of vans. The way everyone drives here, I'm sure some people could legitimately say that they'd been run over by a coffee shop.

There's a huge amount of construction going on here. Female builders working on building sites are as common an occurance as men and it's viewed as completely normal (as it should be).

Whereas American Express seems to be hated by everyone in the UK, who'll only take it as a last resort (apparently they charge double the commission and take ages to settle up), here it seems to be the preferred method of payment. The other day I was even offered a 10% discount for paying with it.

Lots more mosquito bites, even my face isn't immune. I knew there was one of then in my bedroom last night, and sure enough, I woke up with about five new bites. Searching the room, I eventually found it and managed to squash it. On opening my hand, one very squashed and dead mosquito had leaked my own blood all over my hand. Blughh!

And with that lovely image, I'll finish!

BKK to CNX

Right, second attempt at an overly long post, although this time I'll be using the 'save to draft' function a little more.

Flew at early o' clock from Bangkok airport to Chiang Mai. An interesting airport for seeral reasons: it was built from start to finish in 3 years, something Heathrow T5 should seriously look at. Arriving so early, we had with us enormous 'breakfast packs' given to us by the hotel, which were enormous, clearly advertising the hotel on the side. Many giggles were had by passers by, until we eventually gave up and threw them away.. That was nothing though compared with the people trying to get 2 Sony widescreen tellies on as their hand luggage:

Not sure if they succeesed, but I doubt it The 700km journey lasted a mere 40 minutes but it was noticable that the flight was considerably quieter than the equivalent in Europe - everyone seemed to whisper rather than shout. On arriving at Chiang Mai, the increase in greenery an open space, while the decrease in humidy and general pandemonium were noticible and quite a relief.

The house where I'm staying is enormous, on 2 levels, its own gardens and a small house for the housekeepers. The space surprised me greatly: this much in London would be £10 million + so therefore not hard to see why so many westerners end up here.

I've seen lots so far, all of which has been great. Highlights include:

Visiting a thermal spa, where water shoots out of the ground into the air at 105•c. Eggs are sold to boil in the various ponds, then eat. The smell of sulphur, from both the water and eggs is, needless to say, quite overpowering!



Visiting the fairly new dam outside of Chiang Mai, which has made lovely islands and huge reservoirs - absolutely like the west coast of Scotland: you'd easily believe you were on Bute or Arran:






Getting properly into the countryside: forests in the distance, rice fields in the foreground. Beautiful:



Visiting more temples and seeing monks - even ones using mobile phones: not bad for a life of solitude and meditation! In several of the temples, there are several donation boxes, one for each star sign - you put your donations into the one applicable for you. The day of your birth, i.e. Tuesday also seems to be important in Buddhism.



I also managed to shove one of the locals out of the way and beat the gong, a la the start of the MGM films(?):




It's been a very enjoyable few days, next things on the agenda are seeing the centre of Chiang Mai, visiting the night market, home of all things counterfeit, and another temple, this time up a mountain. Further reports are awaited.

Other things to note:

Free range chickens on menus are more commonly known as 'freelance'.

On the A-roads, the carriageway is split up into 2 distinct roads each way, one for local traffic, one for continuing traffic. Like America, it's almost impossible to walk anywhere.

When people flash their lights at you, it means the opposite of the UK, meaning 'I'm coming, not you'.

When it rains, it really really rains.

Lizards are amazing, scuttling about eating flies with their tongue. Ants are either tiny and move tremendously fast, or big (and I mean big) with eyes you can see.

The mosquitoes in the UK have emailed the ones in Thailand to tell them I'm here: my feel and arms have become a prime target.

The biggest Tesco and Carrefour (French) that I've ever seen are here. Brent Cross, eat your heart out!


Lots more to say, but that's what I can think of at the moment. Let's hope this post actually gets published this time ;)

Oh, 2 more things. Liverpool are top of the league now ;) and, it's 32 degrees celcius here, about 25 more than the UK. Reality check heading my way on Friday I think!

-- Post From My iPhone

Aghhh!

Having spent 40 minutes writing an account of the last 3 days of Chiang Mai on a new iphone application, I think I've just lost it. Aghhhh!

More later, if I can be bothered typing it all again :(

Another Grand Palace pic

Another temple pic for those of you non- Flickr orientated. Awe inspiring stuff...it was worth getting soaked to the bone for. Last post today - promise: I've bored you enough already.

Boats, palaces and weather - day 6 in Thailand

Yes, the insanity of the place continues. We decided to go to the Grand Palace today (think of the Thai-style background in the computer game of yesteryear 'Street Fighter 2' and you're almost there). Being a fair distance away, the choice was a boat or a tuk-tuk (a taxi that looks like a carriage from a fairground ride), and having seen both the speed and amount of traffic on the roads, we opted for the former. Small jetties are everywhere along the river, at least one every 50 metres, although some are used for hotels, businesses, deliveries, etc. The transport boats stop at various jetties, as denotes by the colour flag they have on the roof. As expected, ticket machines are somewhat surplus to requirements - on the boat you pay a grand total of 30 baht (about 50p) for a journey as far as you an go. That's assuming you actually get on in the first place, as the boat roars along, past the jetty and at the last minute, swings the back of the boat around, just about long enough for people to em/disembark before continuing on again. Being generous, I'd estimate the boat actually stops for a total of 15 seconds before pressing on. All this is directed by a person at the back of the boat giving instructions to the driver by a bird whistle.

Anyhow, disembarking at the pier nearest to the Grand Palace, the complex itself is nearby, identifying itself with whitewashed walls, not to dissimilar to the walls in Marrakesh. Going inside though, I was immediately struck by how different it was to anything I'd ever seen before: gold everywhere, an array of different colours, shapes and angles. Building upon building whose style had been built up with mosaics and patterns. Foreign yet familiar, even after several hours of thinking about it, I'm still struggling to describe of in words: perhaps pictures are better - I've uploaded my mobile ones to Flickr (username: londonstuff) and will do the rest on getting home. The picture above gives a hint, but not the complete picture. I even managed to get into the main temple, having taken shoes off first, sat in peace amongst the meditating visitors. The peace was temporarily shattered when a Japanese dude, already warned, got thrown out for taking pictures. ;)

As we left, like clockwork, the 4pm storm arrived (the rumblings had been going on for an hour previously) and down the rain came. Never before have unseen rain like it and the thunder was literally on top of us - no delay at all between the flash and the noise. Market and food sellers nearby covered their wares while we sheltered in a cafe with a Singha. For half an hour it lashed it down like Ive never seen, before the clouds parted and the blue sky was out again. The storm cleared the humidity almost completely and thiswas the first time since I arrived that I could walk without instantly feeling sweaty.

Last day in Bangkok tomorrow before heading to Chiang Mai in the north early on Friday.

Thailand - Day 3/4

GeoTagged, [N13.72204, W100.51748]

Right, starting to get used to things a bit more now, which does take a day or so. It's fairly difficult to add photos without them going hee-uge so most have been uploaded to Flickr - go to Flickr.com and search for 'londonstuff' for the uninitiated. Those are just my mobile ones - digital ones to follow when I get back home.


There are so many mad little things I've seen. Yesterday, for example, we went to Lumphini Park, 20 minutes down the road.

When I say 'the road' it doesn't quite do it justice - bikes and enormous green buses thunder past and even when the lights are on green, you can generally turn left at red lights, making crossing more than a bit hazardous! While crossing, even the Thai's screamed when the traffic starting heading our way. (apparently when bus engines have had enough, they get used on the back of motorboats!) Buses also don't quite come to a completr stop to pick up passengers (jusp quickly and accurately) and make the air conditioend bendy buses look like first class travel. Even the 436 to Lewisham. No, really.

We also went past various soulless shopping malls, the recently built sky-train and a shop advertising 'Happy Massage' only to look in curiously to see about 10 people lined up on dentists' chairs having their feet massaged, who were similarly gawping at the ferang (westener) staring at them.

Arriving at the park, as expected, there was very little shade and it was difficult to sit down for too long as there were thousands of hyper-speed ants (like our ones but on acid) running around. Being far too hot, the offer of a pedalo round the lake was turned down. 10 minutes later, when walking round the perimeter of the lake, something caught my eye: a crocodile. Not even joking, easily a metre long, now can't help thinking that not accepting the pedalo was quite a good idea ;) there were several crocs around, mostly hiding in the drains and bigger than the one I saw at close quarters. Even the Thai children were cooing at them, but had the good sense not to stick their fingers between the grilles.

Other points to note:
Taxis hail you, not the other way round.

Kerbs are generally about half a metre high because of the rain that comes down: the lightening I've seen so far has been almost unbelievable.

The biggest rat I've even seen was outside the local version of McDonald's, next to a Thai-style Ronald McDonald doing a respectful bow.

The general level of traffic makes Hyde Park Corner look like a day at the seaside. Imagine Oxford Street on the Saturday before Christmas then going back and forth on the Victoria line during rush hour and you're approaching how it really does feel.

Loads of food I've never even seen: one to note was a hard gelanenous black jelly type thing with sesame seeds on top. Mmmmm

Hundreds of tired -looking wild dogs everywhere.

My authentic Thai green curry tonight was delicious: hopefully without tired-looking wild dog ;)

Can't see any reaction to the Thaksin verdict.

Lots of not particularly pleasant looking western tourists around.

Singha beer is very nice indeed thanks.


So yes, you could say it's a bit of a contrast to the UK! But, people generally look very happy, despite a difficult life. Perhaps that comes down to Buddhism...

Off along the river tomorrow to some of the temples, so will update then.

All Thai dogs tend to look the same!

GeoTagged, [N13.72113, W100.51762]

More later.
M

Thailand - day 1

GeoTagged, [N13.72113, W100.51762]

Test post really, sent through my iPhone.
My hotel room, floor 59, towards the river in Bangkok - amazing place. More later.

Oh and jast found out Liverpool have come from behind, again, to win :)

Feet on seats. Grrrrr

Bad parenting? Slobbery? People that couldn't care less?

Coming home quite late from work several times this week has meant that the tube trains (on the District anyway) haven't been as busy - meaning I've seen people doing this on no less than about 6 occasions:

This really gets my goat up like nothing else - people showing a complete disregard for a) someone else's property and b) people that sit on these seats. If I didn't think I'd get stabbed, I'd say something, but on the odd occasion that I have done, no one's actually acted like they're doing anything wrong and carried on. At least the woman in Annie Mole's post - considerate feet on seats - isn't quite as bad.

The thing that gets me is that it's normally otherwise respectable people doing it in demographics that you wouldn't expect: numerous times I've seen people (50+) doing it, who really should know better.

There was an outcry a while back when Merseyrail took a woman to court over it, and there was widespread shock that a poor 'aspiring teacher' had had this done to her. While this made the national and even international news, and the overwhelming sympathy seemed to be with her, in my opinion she deserved it. There's actually a District Line driver somewhere on the line that tells people every other stop that 'Chairs are for sitting on so please do not put your feet on the seats.' Quite right too, that's what I was told as a child and what I still believe now.

By the way, normally, in common with other blogs, if I take a photo of anyone, I'll blur their faces. I won't here - if someone recognises her, she deserves all the shame she gets!

Only Smarties have the answer...?

Inspired by Fushmush's tweets this afternoon about Smarties, where she was commenting about the differences in colours bwetween packs, I decided to have a go myself and take the plunge on the game of chance that's Smarties.

First thing I noticed, why are the packs hexagonal apart from stopping them rolling away. Quite nifty and original though.

Next, crunch time. What colours did I get?

Next questions springing to mind:

Are the blue one now additive free? Didn't they make children go mental and ADHD-ish?

Why do only orange Smarties taste deliciously different?

Why do the brown ones look so lame? Same principle as the Bakerloo line - everyone hates it just because it's brown.

Can, next time I buy a packet, get 10 orange ones? If I keep buying until I do, this could be a very expensive hobby! You have a go and let me know the results.

Also, does anyone else remember this advert? (The second one I've added purely because I'd forgotten about it - genius marketing campaign that got everyone talking about it)

(P.s. Check out FushMush's website - her photos are awesome)

London Transport Museum Scavenger Hunt

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to be invited to participate in a Scavenger Hunt organised by the London Transport Museum to mark 100 years of the tube roundel - this world-famous logo was invented when the different subsurface 'metro' networks were amalgamated into one company.

For the uninitiated, a scavenger hunt is like a modern-day 'Treasure Hunt' except no Anneka Rice and no spandex jumpsuits. Basically, get clues, solve clues, photograph answers. Our team, Team Johnston didn't win on the actual day (sob), but we're now pitted against the other teams on the quality of our blog with accompanying photographs, some of my better ones are underneath:

You can find the link to the main website Scavenger Hunt site here, where all four teams have posted their photographs and their take on the day. If you wish to, you can vote for Team Johnston (my team), but feel free to vote for anyone - I thought Team Schleger's photos were pretty good as well. While you're at it, take a good look at the London Transport Museum website, where they've got loads of information about all of the collections and events that they've got on. If you haven't been already, the refurbished London Transport Museum itself, in Covent Garden Piazza is well worth a visit - see if you can crash the train simulator less times than I did ;)

Once again, a big thumbs up for Jane at the LTM for organising the day. Jane - next time, can the prize be a weekend in a health farm? Or maybe that should be for the losers...

Perfect London weekend

A little while ago on through Twitter, I started following Krista's londonelcious blog who encouraged me to think about my perfect weekend. This weekend, I think I came pretty close!

Having my Mum down for the weekend is a great excuse to do loads of things that I'd otherwise be too lazy to do! So, in a kind of order:

Cook - vegetarian and autumn, so the butternut squash risotto comes out. Mmmm!

Visit - Great visit to Borough Market, although getting there at 11am wasn't a good idea - all the early birds are still there, as well as the people arriving before lunch. Crowded, but great. Amazing to see so much lovely food and ingredients being sold by people who really care. Amazing place.

Then, a restorative Caffè Nero (ok, it's a chain, but a bloody good one) by the Golden Hinde boat on the river, in the warm October sunshine (that's normally a non-sequeter but those of you in London this weekend understand!)

While stumbling towards St. Pauls and the Millennium Bridge, going under the roadbridge, we saw and heard an amazing man playing the Xylophone brilliantly, with four sticks at once no less!

Next photo, enough said:

Also, packing in a night walk to see London lit up in all its glory:

Then, today, going as a guest of a friend who works for London Underground to visit Aldwych disused underground station. This ticked about 100 boxes for me :)

Then, this afternoon, with the weather being glorious going to Kew Gardens, which was absolutely splendid: unseasonably warm but with beautiful autumnal colours normally only seen in New England. Well worth a £13 ticket - I could feel the calmness feeding through my veins almost immediately.

So that's it - my perfect weekend. I'm knackered and ready for bed, but I've got that rare inner glow. I could gush on, but it's surmised really by saying: I'm lucky to live in London.

Random links

A vaguely American post in terms of fashion and cartoons:

All these are shocking and just plain wrong - check out the original BBC story for more. I wonder if they wore these against tough opponents to make them laugh so much, they couldn't play properly.

Also, with the American election just three weeks away, even the Simpsons have been getting into practice at who to vote for:



Maybe they're on to something here - I'm sure these were exactly the same tactics used by George Bush in 2000 which helped him to win Florida and so the whole election. There's also a rather disturbing video I found (especially at the end - who pays for this?) at the BBC - check it out - slightly scary and surreal really.

Adverts: The good, the bad and the dreadful

** Ps - Sorry about sending this 3 times - it decided, twice, that it wanted to go in its unfinished state. Oops!





Everyone has a favourite. Good adverts sell products by the bucketload, bad ones tend to be memorable but for all the wrong reasons. Here's a few that have caught my eye, good or bad, in the last month or so:

Cadbury's

Quality adverts that really catch the eye - clever and well made - I really like the informal wording, the cleverness of adding the middle word and the thought that the two different flavours kind of like each other. Success!:

Lynx

Smell like a teenager. Horrible stuff anyway, but looking at this while waiting for a tube at 7am really makes me feel sick. Take it down - now. FAIL.

Prêt-a-Manger

I've always loved the way they make images out of food. Puts a smile on my face every time and makes me want to buy yet another no bread sandwich at a ridiculous cost of about £27. Success (I think!)

Science Museum

Rubbish to look at from afar, but these series made me stop and read them, with their little annotated-style pencil scribblings explaining the different bits. Interesting in a kind of geeky way, which was probably their intention in the first place. Success!

Moobs. No one, anywhere, wants them. GET TO THE GYM!
Success!

Kwik Fit
'Cooler air conditioning or your money back' - is it just me or is this just wrong? If you pay for something and it doesn't work, of course you'll want your money back. Special needs marketing department I think. Nnnnn! FAIL:

Quantas
Quantas have recently taken to hiring a helicopter and flying above Central London for a couple of hours each Saturday afternoon. Not only does it piss everyone off, including me - but it reinforces how unenvironmentally friendly they are and conjures up images from the 80s when some now defunct company like Wimpy did the same. Sooooo annoying, I'll never fly with them ever, so they're certainly -1 customer. Massive FAIL:

Any other good or bad ones out there?

Shepherd's Bush tube station reopening

Having heard about the reopening of Shepherd's Bush Central Line station yesterday, mentioned amongst others on Annie Mole's site, I thought I'd take a quick peek over there myself. Changing at Hammersmith and walking from Shepherd's Bush I [Note: I wonder if this has been done by a clever sod to make it Shepherds Bush 1, as in 'the first'] which is soon to be known as, confusingly enough, Shepherd's Bush Market:

Walking along Uxbridge Road at dusk towards Shepherd's Bush proper, it instantly lit up because of its light, glass and aluminium. I was also amused that after just one day, it's already got 2 London Lite vendors and its very own busker!

Inside the station itself, it's bright and clean, as you'd expect, with lots of builders and supervisors still hovering around. It's certainly an improvement on the previous horrible green version, although quite sanitised and new. Not quite finished, there were several examples of places where work was still to be completed, and the tunnel lights were still on, perhaps showing work still to be completed.

Having left a bit non-plussed, with a 'what's the fuss about?' feeling, I then made my way through Notting Hill Gate station to get back onto the Circle Line and saw the best and worst of the Underground:

All photos of Shepherd's Bush station and associated photos can be seen here.

Sainsbury's - I hate you more than life itself...

There are no words available to describe the moment I innocently stumbled down this aisle:

Oh yes kids, it's that time of year - remember the date, October the 6th, it's already begun.

So getting into the spirit, I'd like to be the first to wish all my readers a

Merry Christmas!

Not.

Is there anybody there?

No, I'm not ill.


No, I haven't died. (Thanks to the person concerned enough to leave a comment!)

If you've got a mobile phone, take a second to look through all the people in your contacts - how many haven't you spoken to for a while? How many should you ring, but it's been so long that you haven't and now feel a bit embarrassed or it'd feel a bit random to phone them? Well my blog's been in exactly the same position - I've gone away for a holiday, come back, get everything done, then not had time to blog, then it's ages since updating, so you feel embarrassed - you know how it is. (ok, ok, excuses now)

Anyway, the good news is that I've got loads to say (so what's new?) and maybe the bad news for those of you that subscribe to this is that I'll be pushing a few updates out over the next few days as a way of thanking you for still reading this. (All 15 of you)

Anyhow, 2 things, both from the BBC that caught my eye recently are the all-new Postman Pat and a fight between a boy and a bus:

The BBC have released a video of an updated, mobile-chatting, helicopter driving Postman Pat (who now works for the Special Delivery Service) who busts a gut getting the post delivered on time by driving through hedges and faster than trains (where strangely, the schoolkids watching him offer encouragement rather than throwing things at him, like would happen in every other school). Pat, who shows children the value of hard work and ethics obviously doesn't deliver on my patch, where delivering the mail by 1.30pm is the norm. Anyway, the video can be seen here

The other video that I saw, released by Scottish police is from a CCTV camera showing what happens when a teenager vaults over railings into a bus. Miraculously (and you'll see what I mean when you see it) he somehow only suffers a broken nose, rather than a hideously mangled body. Now remember kids, fighting a bus isn't big or clever. This one can be seen here

Anyway, thanks again for reading this (if anyone does - btw, you can always leave a comment ;) and thanks also to the kind reader who's pushed me, albeit gently, into publishing again!